Have any of you written poetry? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if you said yes. After all, it's like a requirement for those between the ages of twelve and eighteen to write poetry. A necessary outlet for all that teenage angst.
So, what did you write about? Love? Your lack of love? Your fruitless search for love? Yeah, that's what most teenagers write about.
Except for me. Oh sure, I wrote poetry. Lots of it, actually. And yeah, there's a few love ones in there, but really, the majority of my poetry inspiration came from...
COWS.
Since my little jaunt into bovine poetry past has been so hilarious, naturally I want to share the laugh with you all.
HUMANLY
Summer 1992
I see the human cows
Roaming the human pastures.
I see the human bodies
Lying on the human roads
With the human sky above
And the hot, human sun.
It gives off human rays
That fry the human bodies
On those human roads.
Now all the human bodies are gone
And all that's left
Are the human cows
Roaming the human pastures.
"I UNDERSTAND"
October 20, 1993
A friend of mine once came to me and said,
"I'm frustrated, because my dad doesn't get it."
"I understand," I said.
"I'm annoyed with the blankness of the world."
"I understand," I said.
"I'm confused, because I feel so different."
"I understand," I said.
"I'm sad, because nothing makes any sense."
"I understand," I said.
"But," my friend looked at me, "At the same time I'm happy."
I nodded to my friend and said, "Cow."
POT ES BUENO
Fall 1994
Twisting and turning
Feelings and yearnings.
Life is so insane.
Do I really have a brain?
Call to the cows.
Give them the knowhow.
Teach them of life
And its unsteady strife.
Chicken feathers float
Above the water in a boat.
Can my shoes be new?
Or must I form a crew?
Minnesota is so very cold
So grab a coat with a tight hold.
Use the pen to succeed.
Eat a liver and smoke some weed.
I now say good bye
And wither away to die.
So long to you
My Mr. Moo.
Care for my cows well
And life will be swell.
CRAZY
November 15, 1994
Let me tell you something completely
Crazy.
This world is so very
Hazy.
I see absolutely nothing
Now.
But soon before me will stand a
Cow.
It will tell a secret message,
Why?
'Cause soon I will be taken to
Die.
Now wouldn't you say that's
Crazy?
Or don't you want to think, 'cause you're too
Lazy?
All my friends want me to
Leave.
But the cows say, "Stay, stay...
Please?"
Yes, yes, that is so very
Crazy.
